Can saying no save you?

Can saying no save you?


When I’m out there doing my thing and being myself, that’s when I am the happiest. I like being there for people cos I know what it feels like when someone isn’t being there for me. I’ve seen it, experienced it, lived through it. So, I do what I wish was done for me.


When we do things for others, we expect something in return. That’s just a human nature and I wanted to defy that. I worked so hard to be the space of giving and not expecting anything in return. I made myself believe, if I’m giving, it should only be cos I wanted to and not because I wanted a favour or I wanted something in return. Because truth be told, we do things for others cos’ deep down we want something in return. It was a long battle I tell you. But it was not hard. Also because I grew up seeing my parents doing the same exact thing. They gave. They gave and they gave without expecting anything in return. All they wanted was respect- so it wasn’t hard for me at all.


But still, there was something small in me that expected something in return and I examined myself. Sat down and really thought about it. I knew I didn’t want anything but I also knew I wanted something. Confused right? Big time!


You have to understand- if you’re a yes man/woman, people pleasing all the time; giving and giving- you will have nothing left for yourself. Eventually you will crush.


I’m not gonna deny that I was people’s pleaser. I wanted people to be happy but often it was at the cost of my own happiness. I would work extra hard to make them see that I’m a good person. But soon after years and years of being infected by the disease to please, I realised that I needed to find cure for it.

And I completely stopped, in fact I started running away from the blood suckers who expected me to do things for them but never showed when I needed them.


And even though it hurt at the beginning it started paying off and I started living my life the way I wanted it. I show up when I want to and I don’t if I don’t feel like it. I developed this principle- I won’t go if I’m not taking my heart with me. If I said I’m coming, I’m coming to be with you and spend time with you and not worry about anything else. And when it’s time to go- it’s time to go.


But that still made me feel like there was something wrong with me. Cos’ when I say no, people thought I was not nice or did not deserve being their friend, and that bothered me a little.


Saying “No” is terrifying and it sets boundaries- and if I say no people may not come back- Gabrielle Union


It’s like you can’t just say no- you have to justify your NO so people think you’re still a nice person. You have to have a reason why you’re not going to a certain party, place or invitation.



Which is why we say, I can’t come because I have……..

I’m not gonna make it because I need to be…..


What if you don’t want to go cos you simply don’t want to and it is the reason why you’re not- you just don’t want to say like that, cos people would think you’re rude and not a nice person. And so, we become liars against our own will.


But soon I realised, self-love teaches you that even the biggest giver still needs something in return. So, when I say NO to other people, really what I’m doing is saying yes to ME! Because since I’m not expecting to get it back from others, I have to expect to get it from me. And to do that I need to be on my own to recharge so I can give back and be there for others as much as I want. No strings attached.




So don’t get an offense, if I say, I can’t come or I won’t be there. It simply means, I need to be there for me. I need to show up for me. I need to give me some time. I need me to do me a favour and stay with me.


Always with love- BEE xoxo























Recipe for tight skin and pores!

Avocado, yoghurt and olive oil mask for tight skin and pores 🙂

Well hello dear readers,

Hope this message finds you well. What I’m about to share is my old recipe I’ve been using for the last few years, but I’ve actually forgotten about it recently. But then When I saw my pores acting I knew it was time to mask up with some fresh avocado and yoghurt.

It’s a no-brainer that winter makes your skin wither- ehhmm it rhymes too 😊– I’m such a poet I even forgot about it 😊 and to avoid dry and flaky skin we exfoliate hard. Don’t get me wrong exfoliating your skin is necessary but too much of it will lead to dryness, acne and larger pores as well. The larger the pores the more prone your skin is to getting acne. The reason being, you’re stripping out your natural skin oil thereby making it dry, flaky and disobedient. Not very nice ha!

So, watch out how many times you exfoliate. I do mine once a week and according to my skin, that is enough.

For the mask you’ll need:

avo mask 1

2 teaspoons of ripe avocado

1 teaspoon of yoghurt

1 teaspoon of olive oil

P.S Please don’t waste a whole avocado. You will not be needing that much. 

Mix all the ingredients and apply it to your face and neck as well for 15-30 minutes, then wash off and enjoy a beautiful, healthy and glowing tight skin. Make sure you use a warm towel to wipe it off and tone your skin as you normally would.

 Applying yogurt will make your skin free from dead skin and it will also tighten your pores. However, it can sting if you have cuts or wounds on your skin so be mindful about this. I remember my sister once complain cos’ her skin was dry and the yoghurt stung her skin. Bless my little munchkin. Muahh!

Avocado is there to moisturize your supposedly dry skin, reduces acne flare-ups and protects the skin against the sun as well.  

avo 2.jpg

I don’t need to tell you anything about olive oil- it’s just majestic and versatile. My favourite oil of all time. You can just put it anywhere.

You can use it on your skin to moisturize and exfoliate, you can put it on your hair and scalp to condition it and protect your ends, you can use it on your body as a moisturizer, you can put on your salad AND- wait for it for it!  wait for it! – some people actually drink it when they’re constipated- I know right!!!. I’ve not gone thus far yet but I’m tempted “cheeky smile”. I Just think olive oil is the gangster of the oils.

olive oil

I mean what else do we want from this wonderful oil?  But make sure you get the extra virgin, unrefined cold pressed  oil. Trust me you’ll know the difference.

Today’s tip:  If you stayed out in the sun too long, apply avocado directly to sunburned skin to ease pain. This applies to those who are enjoying the sun and loving it but forget their skin is sunburned.

Today’s quote: Know the difference between those who stay to feed the soil and those who come to grab the fruit.

Always with love- Bersi 🙂 x

5 ways I keep my teeth white and my gums healthy!

Well, hello dear folks, I’m coming to you today with these wonderful ways I keep my teeth white and my general oral health on point! I get asked a lot about it, so I thought I’d share and no I’ve never had them whitened. #smiles


me theeth 3- cropped out

1: I do oil pulling once or twice a week minimum. This is the best way to keep your teeth white and your gums healthy as well. It involves swishing a tablespoon of oil in your mouth on an empty stomach for around 20 minutes. This practice draws out toxins in your body, primarily to improve oral health but also to improve your overall health.


coconut man


I usually do it with coconut oil but I also do it with sesame seed oil which is also good for our teeth and gums health. Plague/ tooth tartar is fat soluble which is why oil pulling works as it makes it softer.

sesame seed oil


P.s.  Sesame seed oil has a nutty taste to it, so you might not like it.

If you want to know more about it and find out about my experiences, click at the link below.

oil pulling- teeth whitening at home!  

2: I make a tooth paste using baking soda and coconut oil which is absolutely the bomb! Baking soda has whitening properties and is normally added to a commercial toothpaste.

Here’s how:

  • Mix 4 teaspoons of banking soda powder ( not banking powder) and
  • 2 teaspoons of raw & unrefined coconut oil

toothpaste- mix

  • Mix them well until they give you a paste, which will look like this:

toothpaste hand-

I use this paste twice a day either on it’s own and/or mixed with a normal toothpaste. It has a salty taste to it, so you might be better off mixing it with a normal toothpaste.

If you want you can also add activated charcoal to your baking soda and coconut toothpaste. This works but it also stains the sink. You can do it for the first 7 days and then carry on with your oil pulling and the other methods. You don’t necessarily need this. But if you insist, GO AHEAD!



3: I make a mouth wash with black pepper, cinnamon and Himalayan salt ( even sea salt is ok to use). Mix all of the ingredients with warm water and it’s ready to use.


 I love love love this mouthwash. It’s all natural, chemical free and no alcohol but it works better than Listerine. Guaranteed! plus your pocket will thank you.

Learn how to make this here: That Homemade mouthwash for healthy gums!


4: I floss at least once a week: This can be a daunting experience but it needs to be done. There just isn’t any other way! 😦 

If your teeth bleed a lot when you brush, you simply need to floss like there is no tomorrow. I’m not gonna lie, sometimes I do forget and they used to bleed but since I started oil pulling and using the electric tooth brush, using my mouth wash they are in a much better condition. Make sure you use the mouth wash during flossing though.

5: I use electric tooth brush. Now I know what you’re going to say, ” but, Bersi it’s too expensive” and I’ll say; Come on now,  if you see it as a long term investment, then you’re still winning mate.

Trust me! I used to say that to myself too and I have used Oral B Pulsar forever ( cos’ I used to get them on sale all the time and they were cheap, until they were not anymore); but it was  and still is battery operated and I got tired of buying them over and over again. The only solution was electric tooth brush and trust me,  I never regretted it.

My first experience: At first I bought the Superdrug brand cos’ I wanted to see if I was going to like it first. I thought it was good until I used Oral B Pro 600. #bestdiscoveryEver

LET ME TELL YOU!!! it is the best thing ever. It’s just the BOMB and I think everyone should have it. I bought mine on sale for £24.99 from Superdrug.

 toothbrush- oral b

Please Note: Do not brush too harshly and avoid pressing it too hard. Just place it on your teeth and let it slide gently. you’re just there to guide it through and lead it where you want it to go.  #NotaRocketScience

Teeth. Soooo needy! 🙂

Hope these tips will inspire you and make you smile 🙂

As always with Love- Bee xoxo


Beautiful scars!

Wear your scars as if they were your medals they say

They’re evidence for trying

Proof for not falling behind

For showing up and never giving up

For being brave and taking risks

For realising nothing in life is guaranteed

For not jumping into conclusions

For not betraying yourself

For daring and never listening to others

For listening to your heart and following your dreams

For facing your fears

Be proud! they show that you have lived!


Today’s quote- “The wound is the place where the light enters you”- Rumi

Always with love- Bersi xoxo

Magnesium flakes for muscle relaxation and healthy bones!

Magnesium flakes are a highly concentrated form of mineral salt also known as nature’s most potent relaxant. The flakes are excellent to deliver magnesium through the skin with essential minerals the body needs. Magnesium is vital for healthy bones and teeth and the flakes help promote the overall well-being, aid skin health and relaxing muscles. It’s deficiency contributes to insomnia, tiredness, PMS, period pain, depression, sugar cravings, muscle cramps and a lot more.


mag 1

Here’s how this precious mineral helped my health better:

1: Relief for aching muscles and joints

The flakes help my muscles and joints relax. I mean who wouldn’t want this. I tell you, this is the best thing that I’ve ever discovered.  But then again anything that comes across my path is a complete bliss! #HappyDays

I use the flakes after a workout or if I’m feeling a bit stiff, achy or if my knees are hurting; and trust me it really helps. When having a bath, I normally mix it with Epsom salt and it works wonders; but if I’m feeling lazy then I just have a foot soak with it. #RIPmusclePain.

You don’t have to mix it with epsom salt though. It’s more potent than epsom salt, so you can just use it on it’s own; but I’m a bit extra. You should know this by now… 😉

2: Bone health

Alright, so the less magnesium we have the weaker our bone density is. It’s not only Calcium that’s needed for bone strength- in fact magnesium helps the body absorb calcium. So, don’t be fooled. You can be drinking gallons of milk or even consuming dairy products but if you don’t have enough magnesium in your system it won’t get absorbed into your body. When I walk, my bones around my ankle area used to make a clicking sound. I knowww! Embarrassing right? but my magnesium intake really helped and it’s not as bad as it was before. #victory

3: Sleeping better

Well, you won’t believe this but magnesium can also help you relax and sleep better, too. Lately, I haven’t been sleeping well, too much on the mind, like everybody else I guess. But, every time I feel a bit restless, I use this magnificent salt and guess what? I sleep like an angel. I would say baby, but babies don’t sleep. I don’t even know why this expression is used. No turning or tossing!!! #noMoreSleeplessNights


Different ways of using the flakes 

1: You can have a bath with it

Dissolve 1/4 cup of Miracle Bath Flakes in warm bath water, keeping the temperature just above our body temperature. Soak for 20 – 40 minutes. Make sure the water is not too hot as you won’t get the benefit. You can do this twice a week or more if you have time.

P.S. Drink plenty of pure water when taking magnesium baths. You need to keep your body hydrated.

2: You can soak your feet in it

I sometimes prefer to take a foot-bath instead of having a bath. I just think it’s easier, especially if I’m in the mood to paint my nails, drink green tea, read or even watch my favourite TV show which is anything funny, educational or inspirational #Tedtalks

3: Of course, you can make Magnesium oil out of it

You didn’t know there was such a thing did ya? well, now you do! this is basically the laziest and the most convenient way of taking magnesium and this is how I make it:

  • Take how ever much you think you need, 1-2 teaspoons is enough if you’ve never done this before; and you can increase the amount gradually.



  • Then add 1 teaspoon of warm water to it. It will dissolve it quick enough for you to apply it to the problem areas.  I usually apply it on my joints; my knees, ankles, wrists…etc and massage it well.  It will feel and look glossy but it’s not oily at all so you can leave it on and you are free to go about your business. I usually apply it before bed as it helps me relax and sleep better.  If you’re lazy and not bothered about saving  your hard earned money, you can buy a magnesium oil but I just think it’s pricey.



Once it’s dissolved!



Where to get it:

You can get it from any health stores or even on line. It’s better to get it in bulk as it’s expensive. I get mine from Amazon or any other online health stores- which ever is cheaper really.


You need to store it in a dry place and make sue it’s not exposed to heat. The longer you leave it open and exposed to heat it will melt. So protect it well. After all it is your investment.


If it’s your first time using the magnesium oil, you might feel a little bit itchy after application which is why you need to start in small quantity. But it disappears soon so nothing to worry about here.

Today’s quote:

Keep Calm! Magnesium got your bones and muscles! 


Always with love- Bersi 🙂


Freedom has a high price they say

As high as that of slavery

But then, do we ask what is freedom really?

Free from our commitments or responsibilities?

Free from  the burdens or just having endless choices?

Free from the laws of nature or the tradition that existed for centuries?

Free to make our own rules, without boundaries?

Free from feeling guilty of our blessings?

Free to live our lives without judgments?

Free to love life and live it fully?

Free to follow our hearts and live life shamelessly?

what does it mean to you?

i know Free is what we are, naturally!

Women of our generation!

The world we live in today is funny, emotional, corrupt, heartless, demanding, damaging, bloodsucking…etc The list is endless; and we have to fight for what we believe in otherwise we’ll get killed. We have to really stand up and protect ourselves and fight for dear life. Especially if you’re not an ass kisser like me. It doesn’t get easier. Today, we have two worlds and two generations fighting for what they believe in and never agreeing on one thing and we’re stuck in the middle. Because though we are one, we come from different times and generations. And one thinks their way is better than the other.

Today we have a lot of people leaving their families behind and starting their journey on their own to see where life might take them, but this comes with a big sacrifice. There’s a lot of people like me who left their families back home and moved to a different continent with a different culture and tradition trying to follow their bliss and have a better life. My journey has been nothing but challenging and I’m grateful for the hardships I went through cos’ it really made me appreciate how far I’ve come, how I see life  and where I’m headed. All the people I met and the troubles I’ve overcome made me wiser, kinder, better and stronger. Amen to that!

soldier me 3

When people move in groups, I stayed in my lane,  I didn’t mind being a loner because I knew where I was headed. It never did bother me. I did my own shit, dressed like I wanted, never really followed a crowd. I was always in a different space and place. I stayed true to myself, been hurt too many times and vowed to never hurt anyone I encounter on my journey. I moved on purpose. Everything I did, I made sure I did out of love and care.. Of course, I made mistakes but they only made me sharper and focused. I always found ways to feed my soul, did what I had to do to survive, I was there for the people who needed me, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. Just for love. Nothing else. But in the process of it all I lost myself. I was a servant and I still am. Because I believe that’s why I’m here. To serve humanity. But I completely lost myself because I thought I didn’t matter and since I was always the strong one, I ignored myself, because I thought I could do it all. Which is absolutely a massive mistake. But on the good side, I thought myself to be humble, kept my feet on the ground and stayed grounded. So many times I fell and got back up again. As the new generation and time got me thinking; I always tell myself, I got to do better, I have to be better than I was yesterday, I need to grow and move elegantly through life.



my grandmother and my mother’s generation is different to mine. They lived in a time where arranged marriage is acceptable and the highest achievement in life is to get married and have kids.  And all they could think of is for me get married and have kids. It feels like all my achievements in life, my ambitions and dreams, the way I am, how far I’ve come, my struggles and all that I am is never enough and is so not appreciated. I find myself growing apart from my family because I know I’m a disappointment to them.  however, my sister thinks otherwise and tells me that they’re proud of me no matter what. But I feel regardless of how hard I try to make them see my point of view, I will never succeed and they will never understand. And I will never understand their way of life either. Two generations who come from one land fighting for what they believe in but no one is winning.

We live in different times and ages. If a woman refuses to live the life that’s planned for her, she gets disowned by her parents because she said no to live the life they want for her. Their best line is” we know what’s best for you and we want you to be happy”. Wait, hold up! Did I say I’m sad? And you may have known me when I was little but 15 years later, I’m a different person. They need to understand their version of what’s best for us in their eyes might not actually be the best thing for us. They need to allow people to move on at their own pace, let them live life the way they want to and just let them be. And if we don’t obey we get disowned? What ignorance. It really breaks my heart to see that women of our time and age are not appreciated for who they are without a husband and kids. Life is more than that. Open your eyes!!! Having said that though, I’m not dismissing the idea of having a partner and kids some day. I’ll happen all in good time. No pressure. 🙂


Maybe this should sum up what women of our age are like:

we are the women of our time. We struggle, we fight, we overcome. We might need to work twice as hard to get where we want to get to, but even then we still never give up. We shouldn’t! We simply can’t! We’re stronger that we’ll ever be. We are the women of our time and generation! And we’ll always rise!