What true belonging means to me.

Where do you belong?

Well darlings, this is a tough one. I have seen people struggle with it as much as I have struggled. We all want to feel we belong somewhere. Whether it is our families, our villages, our countries, our jobs, our friends, our communities…etc. But isn’t it true that belonging is fitting in? I questioned myself several times.  What happens if we don’t fit in anywhere anymore. I mean, we belong somewhere because we share something right. Whether it’s values, standards, traditions and cultures. I mean, there has to be something we have in common right. But if you start having different values, different ways of thinking, different everything than our community, would you still say, I belong with them? Would you still feel comfortable saying that’s my home? Would you still feel understood, valued and accepted?

I mean we can disagree on somethings but if the core values change, what then? This kept coming back to me.

I left home in my mid-teenage years and have had to start life over and over again. Have had to learn different languages, cultures and traditions; and I’m grateful for it. I brought my values I grew up with, with me but over the years they started changing. I mean we have to evolve in order to grow right? We can’t just be in one spot and expect to grow too. We got to keep learning and changing. But the reality of it is, we try to make our values fit with others and when they don’t work we back off and ask why it didn’t.

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we try to make anyone and everything familiar to our values home. You try to grab it and never let go of it. We be the servant because it gives us that sense of belonging. I am guilty of this because I did it over and over again. I try to replace that feeling of belonging with people who didn’t even care about me. Of course, I didn’t see it then. But I kept searching for it everywhere. But I had no luck.

I didn’t know I didn’t have to do things to feel and be accepted and I certainly didn’t have to prove anything to anyone so I can belong.

And I failed to understand that home is not where I left it. It is not with a bunch of people. I finally understood that Home is me. It always has been. Home is where I go. Home is my head and my heart. Home is me. Because I kept coming back to myself. I kept coming back to my heart. And I reached a conclusion that no matter where I go there is my home. You cannot escape yourself. You’ll always be carrying you around, so you better make that a comfortable home. Respect your home, clean your home, love your home. And you will see a much loved, happy, cared for and respected home will attract curiosity and will attract homes just like it.

…And when you find someone who’s just what you were looking for; well, they can be your second home 🙂

Hope these words stay with you 🙂

With love- Bersi x