5 Relationship lessons I’ve learned in 2017

5 Relationship lessons I’ve learned in 2017!

2017 has been an eventful year for me. It was beautiful, abundant, challenging and certainly full of experiences. It tested my heart’s strength and most definitely, it has shaped me to be a better person.

Here are few things I’ve learned from it that I thought you might benefit from.


1: Trust your instinct no matter what


Whether we like it or not we all have a gut feeling that we ignore consistently. We have such a hard time listening to it and trusting it. We ignore all the signs, we ignore that feeling that can’t be explained and we just go with the flow hoping that one day, that unexplainable feeling will go away. I mean, it’s easier that way right? WRONG!

My favourite Poet Dr Maya Angelou once said “when someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them”. This is SO TRUE, but we become accustomed to ignoring things and we don’t even pay attention to what is. And most of the time, we don’t want to ruin what we have and so we choose to move along with it.

I learned that our instinct is the greatest internal GPS we have and we better start navigating with it before it’s too late; which is why I have begun to listen to the teachings my heart whispers to me; and really understand what is going on, be present in the moment and pay attention more every day. #MattersOfTheHeart


2: Be yourself unapologetically


Being yourself is the ultimate relationship goal. Heck! Being yourself is the ultimate life goal. Often, people change who they truly are to feel accepted and to have that sense of belonging. I used to be that person once, but I’ve started working hard to be myself and accept myself every day, even if it meant people didn’t like it. It’s hard but that’s the only way to freedom.

quote insta

In a world full of fakeness, being yourself is like hitting a jackpot- Bersi 🙂

It is the easiest thing you can do in your life and it is the greatest accomplishment you could ever have. #DontBetrayYourself


Compromising is essential but it should not come at the expense of losing yourself in the process. I mean, what fun could that be? Ain’t that the reason why they were drawn to you anyway?! So why are they trying to change you?? It makes no sense at all. At one point, I felt like I was living in someone else’s shadow because I don’t want to upset the person I was with and mainly out of respect. But, what is the point if you’re not getting respected back! You see, changing few things here and there is ok, but changing who you truly are to accommodate others is a no go for me.

I say, don’t be with someone who you’re trying to change/fix. Don’t fall for their potential self and the person they could be one day if they change for you. Be with them because you like them just the way they are. Be with the finished product- ready made!J


3: Set your boundaries


Once the line you’ve drawn is crossed, you know it’s over. But to set boundaries you need to know who you truly are and what your values are. If the person steps on those boundaries, then it is time to have a chat.

Create boundaries. Honor your limits. Say no. Take a break. Let go. Stay grounded. Nurture your body. And if all else fails, breathe deeply. Don’t underestimate breathing, I tell you breathing deeply is one of things that really really helped me release the tension and stress. #WhenInDoubtBreathe

Also remember to nurture your body and respect your body. Go to a Spa if you have to, eat well and feed your mind. Don’t forget yourself just because your boundaries have been crossed and you don’t know how to deal with it. Staying healthy and having a clear mind is important. It helps you focus on what you need to do next. Through it all you have to understand you need you more than anything.


4: Open up and speak your truth- be fearless


Address your issues and talk about them openly like adults. If they can handle your truth then game on! But if you can’t be transparent and are hiding things, you won’t go anywhere. You’ll always be stuck and going back to the same issue over and over again.

If things are not making sense to you and making you uncomfortable then say so. Don’t just bottle it up. So many times I’ve ignored things because I thought they were petty and didn’t deserve attention. But it’s the little things that turn into something big. This is something I really need to work on but I’ve decided to live my life fearlessly a while ago so I’m heading the right way!! #Winning

I made a mistake cos’ I didn’t speak out loud my truth because I was always being considerate and didn’t want to pick the wrong moment to talk about serious things.

And as the lovely Oprah said; “Speaking our truth is the most powerful tool we all have”. #UseIT #SaveYourSelf


5: Open your eyes, stay focused and observe carefully

You can never know people enough and not everyone is loving and caring like you are, so keep your eyes open.  People only see you through their own eyes and they can only understand you from their level of perception.  You see, you can only trust people as much as you trust yourself.

If you’re sneaky, you’ll think they are too. If you cheat, you’ll watch their every move trying to catch them in the act. So an innocent text from or to a friend will look bad in their eyes. But if you trust yourself 100%, then you’ll see others through your trusting heart. If a person says they don’t trust you, it means they don’t trust themselves. They’re sending a big message here, so pay attention.

“He who does not trust enough, will not be trusted”- Lao Tzu

Don’t waste your breath trying to make them believe they should trust you. If the trust is not there and most importantly if they don’t trust themselves- game over! #RunTheHellOut


Always with Love- Bee 🙂

That Homemade mouthwash for healthy gums!

Homemade mouthwash!

So, about 3 weeks ago, my tooth started aching badly and it was weird as my general mouth health is on point. Especially after I paid my dentist a visit at the beginning of the year and after she told me everything was in a good shape. It could only be related to the accident I had about 5 years ago when my jaw broke and it literally split in half and two of my teeth nearly fell out- it was gruesome- I thought I was going to be deformed for life. Thank God, I didn’t. *all smiles*


As usual I kept rinsing my mouth with warm water & Himalayan salt after I brush my teeth and hoped for the best, but the pain didn’t go away and suddenly I had the urge to make my own mouth wash. I stopped using mouth wash for a while now as it started eating up my gums, so I’ve had to rely on the Himalayan salt rinse for a while. The new mouthwash is amazing and after a day the pain was gone and now I’m in love with my mouthwash. It gives you a pleasant burning sensation just like the real mouthwash does, but only better and spicier. I’ve also noticed my teeth getting whiter and cleaner and my gums healthier. I haven’t had a single pain since I started using my miracle mouth wash. #happydays


You’ll need:

1 teaspoon of fine salt ( preferably Himalayan salt)

1 teaspoons of black pepper powder

1 teaspoons of cinnamon powder

Here’s what I made….



It really depends on how spicy you want it, so it’s up to you if want to increase the amounts. Try it and find your own perfect mix. The spicier the better! I sometimes put more black pepper when I want it stronger. You can keep adding warm water to your mix and also add more black pepper and cinnamon if you like it strong. The stronger the better!!




Mix all the ingredients together with warm water and rinse your mouth after you brush your teeth. You can also use it anytime you want- even in the middle of the day. There are no rules here.




The antibacterial property of black pepper helps to fight against infections and as a result  it reduces pain and inflammation in your gums.

Cinnamon is effective against gum infection mainly because of its antifungal and antimicrobial properties. It’s been used for years to heal gum infections, which I think is why there’s a cinnamon gum- my childhood favourite chewing gum. The warm water along with the salt helps to pull “fluid” out of the gum tissue, therefore reducing swelling, alleviating pain, and killing harmful bacteria.


Quote of the day:

“Innovation basically involves making obsolete that which you did before- Jay Abraham





A sensitive topic that gets people into arguments, hate, resentment and disappointment and the cliché saying of all time “expect nothing to avoid being disappointed”!  ohh really? I’d say expect away and get disappointed anyway. It’s part of life and part of who we are. It’s not something you simply can switch of.

Bruce Lee has once said “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectation and you’re not in this world to live up to mine” and this is exactly how I want to live my life. And I’m safe to say I’m doing well on this. Giving, just because I feel like it and not expecting anything in return. It’s not easy but, it’s the journey that I’m on. I’m working to better myself each and everyday and I’ve also read few books on self-development; and I will keep reading them. But the truth is, we’re humans and whether we do things expecting something in return or we don’t, we’re bound to feel disappointed when the love or the favour doesn’t get returned. Don’t blame me- blame your heart and the way we’re made. And if they say why why?- tell them that is human nature- just like MJ said!

proud to be me

Though, I’m trying to live my life according to Mr Lee’s quote above, it’s been challenging for me when it comes to letting people be. I don’t know if it’s a problem but I always see the good in people and it takes me a looooong time before I can say enough is enough and move on. I choose to see the good in people and always expect them to do better and be better. But I always get disappointed when they don’t live up to the expectation and the better image I have for them. See! I’m still expecting but I honestly don’t want to. Because, I figured everyone should be free and we cannot expect anyone to see life the way we do and expect them to think like we do. I’ve learned that we cannot expect them to be who we want them to be. Just as much as we don’t want them expecting us who to be.

We’re always going to end up resenting the people who make us do the things we hate doing and tell us to live our lives their way. And they’re always going to resent us for not fulfilling their wish. So if this is the case, why can’t we live FREELY ever after?!

The gorgeous Lisa Nicholas said, “ if you expect me to be the next Oprah, I will disappoint you massively, so let me just be Lisa Nicholas”

In a world full of expectations, just be!

In a world full of expectations, just be. You’re going to disappoint friends, parents, teachers…etc and you will never be perfect, and they’re also going to disappoint you. The sooner you get this the better. It’s about time we find peace with it but remember as long as you don’t disappoint you, honey! You’re good.

If you’re kind, be kind- don’t change because that one person is not being kind to you. If you’re crazy, be crazy! Don’t change because they want someone who’s boring. You are and should be loved the way you are.

I hope in the process of it all, you do not let anyone else’s expectations direct the course of your life.

Peace and Harmony

Bersi x


Back problems and Yoga!

Well, hello dear folks

Recently I have been experiencing a back pain and I’ve noticed this only happens when I go on holidays. The reasons could be endless but I suspect it could be because I stop stretching and exercising at all, apart from walking endlessly trying to discover as much as I can. I hear you say walking should be enough for exercising but it’s not good enough as you only move the same muscles and forget about the rest. Common sense!!! I love site seeing too. Good! I hear you say, but it could also be a problem if you don’t rest up properly and don’t do your stretching. My love for walking and site seeing didn’t marry up properly without stretching. Usually I do yoga in the mornings before going to work and if I start feeling back pain I stretch like there is no tomorrow, but carefully as I don’t want to pull any muscles out of their resting place. *sigh*

Yoga is one of the best things that I have ever discovered. It’s well underrated and underestimated. I discovered that the perception of it is very wrong. Though it comes from the Buddha, it doesn’t necessarily mean you worship Buddhism if you practice yoga; and this is what most people think. Another perception is that yoga is just sitting down pointing your fingers and humming. WRONG! I thought the same, before I actually discovered the real deal. Not only it’s good for stretching, but it also helps with your core strength and with toning up. It thought me how to breathe, how to balance, listen to my body and relax.


I went to see a doctor as the pain was excruciatingly painful; and guess what she told me to do? Stretching! That’s right. You guessed it or not.

The reason why I wanted to share this is ‘cos I wanted everyone to get used to stretching and exercising even if it’s a little bit. Don’t ignore your body! If exercising is a bit boring for you and you’re not cut out for it- then dancing is always an option as you move every muscle of your body and is the best exercise one can get. If dancing is out of question, then you either need to think about it or find something else you can do that can move your muscles. You don’t have to spend hours doing it- 30min a day is enough. If dancing isn’t good either, well then- you need help!

Having said that though, we also need to watch what we eat and be careful about our diet. I have realised HEALTH IS THE BIGGEST WEALTH! I think this was a wake-up call for me. Don’t underestimate it. Spend a little cash on your wellbeing. Go crazy! don’t be shy! Go to sauna or have a SPA day if you can. Instead of spending it on alcohol or a big night out- spend it on your health. See it as a long term investment. You will see you’ll feel better and refreshed after and money well spent too. The bottom line is you need to treat your body with respect- if not then it won’t respek ( with Ali G’s voice) you back.

Quote of the day

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path– Buddha

Peace and Love! till next time 😉