5 Relationship lessons I’ve learned in 2017!
2017 has been an eventful year for me. It was beautiful, abundant, challenging and certainly full of experiences. It tested my heart’s strength and most definitely, it has shaped me to be a better person.
Here are few things I’ve learned from it that I thought you might benefit from.
1: Trust your instinct no matter what
Whether we like it or not we all have a gut feeling that we ignore consistently. We have such a hard time listening to it and trusting it. We ignore all the signs, we ignore that feeling that can’t be explained and we just go with the flow hoping that one day, that unexplainable feeling will go away. I mean, it’s easier that way right? WRONG!
My favourite Poet Dr Maya Angelou once said “when someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them”. This is SO TRUE, but we become accustomed to ignoring things and we don’t even pay attention to what is. And most of the time, we don’t want to ruin what we have and so we choose to move along with it.
I learned that our instinct is the greatest internal GPS we have and we better start navigating with it before it’s too late; which is why I have begun to listen to the teachings my heart whispers to me; and really understand what is going on, be present in the moment and pay attention more every day. #MattersOfTheHeart
2: Be yourself unapologetically
Being yourself is the ultimate relationship goal. Heck! Being yourself is the ultimate life goal. Often, people change who they truly are to feel accepted and to have that sense of belonging. I used to be that person once, but I’ve started working hard to be myself and accept myself every day, even if it meant people didn’t like it. It’s hard but that’s the only way to freedom.
In a world full of fakeness, being yourself is like hitting a jackpot- Bersi 🙂
It is the easiest thing you can do in your life and it is the greatest accomplishment you could ever have. #DontBetrayYourself
Compromising is essential but it should not come at the expense of losing yourself in the process. I mean, what fun could that be? Ain’t that the reason why they were drawn to you anyway?! So why are they trying to change you?? It makes no sense at all. At one point, I felt like I was living in someone else’s shadow because I don’t want to upset the person I was with and mainly out of respect. But, what is the point if you’re not getting respected back! You see, changing few things here and there is ok, but changing who you truly are to accommodate others is a no go for me.
I say, don’t be with someone who you’re trying to change/fix. Don’t fall for their potential self and the person they could be one day if they change for you. Be with them because you like them just the way they are. Be with the finished product- ready made!J
3: Set your boundaries
Once the line you’ve drawn is crossed, you know it’s over. But to set boundaries you need to know who you truly are and what your values are. If the person steps on those boundaries, then it is time to have a chat.
Create boundaries. Honor your limits. Say no. Take a break. Let go. Stay grounded. Nurture your body. And if all else fails, breathe deeply. Don’t underestimate breathing, I tell you breathing deeply is one of things that really really helped me release the tension and stress. #WhenInDoubtBreathe
Also remember to nurture your body and respect your body. Go to a Spa if you have to, eat well and feed your mind. Don’t forget yourself just because your boundaries have been crossed and you don’t know how to deal with it. Staying healthy and having a clear mind is important. It helps you focus on what you need to do next. Through it all you have to understand you need you more than anything.
4: Open up and speak your truth- be fearless
Address your issues and talk about them openly like adults. If they can handle your truth then game on! But if you can’t be transparent and are hiding things, you won’t go anywhere. You’ll always be stuck and going back to the same issue over and over again.
If things are not making sense to you and making you uncomfortable then say so. Don’t just bottle it up. So many times I’ve ignored things because I thought they were petty and didn’t deserve attention. But it’s the little things that turn into something big. This is something I really need to work on but I’ve decided to live my life fearlessly a while ago so I’m heading the right way!! #Winning
I made a mistake cos’ I didn’t speak out loud my truth because I was always being considerate and didn’t want to pick the wrong moment to talk about serious things.
And as the lovely Oprah said; “Speaking our truth is the most powerful tool we all have”. #UseIT #SaveYourSelf
5: Open your eyes, stay focused and observe carefully
You can never know people enough and not everyone is loving and caring like you are, so keep your eyes open. People only see you through their own eyes and they can only understand you from their level of perception. You see, you can only trust people as much as you trust yourself.
If you’re sneaky, you’ll think they are too. If you cheat, you’ll watch their every move trying to catch them in the act. So an innocent text from or to a friend will look bad in their eyes. But if you trust yourself 100%, then you’ll see others through your trusting heart. If a person says they don’t trust you, it means they don’t trust themselves. They’re sending a big message here, so pay attention.
“He who does not trust enough, will not be trusted”- Lao Tzu
Don’t waste your breath trying to make them believe they should trust you. If the trust is not there and most importantly if they don’t trust themselves- game over! #RunTheHellOut
Always with Love- Bee 🙂