What true belonging means to me.

Where do you belong?

Well darlings, this is a tough one. I have seen people struggle with it as much as I have struggled. We all want to feel we belong somewhere. Whether it is our families, our villages, our countries, our jobs, our friends, our communities…etc. But isn’t it true that belonging is fitting in? I questioned myself several times.  What happens if we don’t fit in anywhere anymore. I mean, we belong somewhere because we share something right. Whether it’s values, standards, traditions and cultures. I mean, there has to be something we have in common right. But if you start having different values, different ways of thinking, different everything than our community, would you still say, I belong with them? Would you still feel comfortable saying that’s my home? Would you still feel understood, valued and accepted?

I mean we can disagree on somethings but if the core values change, what then? This kept coming back to me.

I left home in my mid-teenage years and have had to start life over and over again. Have had to learn different languages, cultures and traditions; and I’m grateful for it. I brought my values I grew up with, with me but over the years they started changing. I mean we have to evolve in order to grow right? We can’t just be in one spot and expect to grow too. We got to keep learning and changing. But the reality of it is, we try to make our values fit with others and when they don’t work we back off and ask why it didn’t.

2018-10-05 14-50-44

we try to make anyone and everything familiar to our values home. You try to grab it and never let go of it. We be the servant because it gives us that sense of belonging. I am guilty of this because I did it over and over again. I try to replace that feeling of belonging with people who didn’t even care about me. Of course, I didn’t see it then. But I kept searching for it everywhere. But I had no luck.

I didn’t know I didn’t have to do things to feel and be accepted and I certainly didn’t have to prove anything to anyone so I can belong.

And I failed to understand that home is not where I left it. It is not with a bunch of people. I finally understood that Home is me. It always has been. Home is where I go. Home is my head and my heart. Home is me. Because I kept coming back to myself. I kept coming back to my heart. And I reached a conclusion that no matter where I go there is my home. You cannot escape yourself. You’ll always be carrying you around, so you better make that a comfortable home. Respect your home, clean your home, love your home. And you will see a much loved, happy, cared for and respected home will attract curiosity and will attract homes just like it.

…And when you find someone who’s just what you were looking for; well, they can be your second home 🙂

Hope these words stay with you 🙂

With love- Bersi x

 

 

 

 

 

The way out!

 

It was written before I wrote
It was broken before I broke it
The way out- it was made before I made it
God almighty
Always there- watching me
Paving the way for me
Every turn, every corner
Curving it beautifully
Sending me,  angels who guard me

scarf me
I was always protected
Deep down I knew- never doubted it
All I had to do was pay attention- no hesitation
Believe! Listen carefully
It’s a gut feeling
What I was good at ignoring
What do you know about it though? it is a spiritual thing. Spiritual healing!!

Yours. Bersi, with love xoxo

 

 

I’m everything and nothing at all!

I am everything and nothing at all

Sometimes I want to be quiet and sometimes celebrate
I love those who have energy and jump around and I am that,
But at times I just want to meditate and leave it at that.
Sometimes I want to hold hands and take it slow,
But other times I want to jump in the ocean and play with the storm
You know playing with words is what I adore, but then I also like a movie & a popcorn

Sometimes I hold on tight to what I have, but other times I don’t care if all is lost
I love it when you tell me you love me, but other times it’s enough when you hold me
And we all love it when people sympathise with us but tough love we also appreciate.
Sometimes we want to be healthy but then we also celebrate being lazy
And don’t we all love honesty but the kind less brutal & easy

we love to share but we don’t like it when they’re too nosy

I admire flexibility, and I don’t mind changing but without losing my identity

you see- It’s not because I have endless personalities
But because, darling!  I am everything
And without it, I’m also nothing!!!

look around, pay attention and see if you’re experiencing something ….anything?

Love always, yours Bee x0x0

5 Relationship lessons I’ve learned in 2017

5 Relationship lessons I’ve learned in 2017!

2017 has been an eventful year for me. It was beautiful, abundant, challenging and certainly full of experiences. It tested my heart’s strength and most definitely, it has shaped me to be a better person.

Here are few things I’ve learned from it that I thought you might benefit from.

 

1: Trust your instinct no matter what

 

Whether we like it or not we all have a gut feeling that we ignore consistently. We have such a hard time listening to it and trusting it. We ignore all the signs, we ignore that feeling that can’t be explained and we just go with the flow hoping that one day, that unexplainable feeling will go away. I mean, it’s easier that way right? WRONG!

My favourite Poet Dr Maya Angelou once said “when someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them”. This is SO TRUE, but we become accustomed to ignoring things and we don’t even pay attention to what is. And most of the time, we don’t want to ruin what we have and so we choose to move along with it.

I learned that our instinct is the greatest internal GPS we have and we better start navigating with it before it’s too late; which is why I have begun to listen to the teachings my heart whispers to me; and really understand what is going on, be present in the moment and pay attention more every day. #MattersOfTheHeart

 

2: Be yourself unapologetically

 

Being yourself is the ultimate relationship goal. Heck! Being yourself is the ultimate life goal. Often, people change who they truly are to feel accepted and to have that sense of belonging. I used to be that person once, but I’ve started working hard to be myself and accept myself every day, even if it meant people didn’t like it. It’s hard but that’s the only way to freedom.

quote insta

In a world full of fakeness, being yourself is like hitting a jackpot- Bersi 🙂

It is the easiest thing you can do in your life and it is the greatest accomplishment you could ever have. #DontBetrayYourself

 

Compromising is essential but it should not come at the expense of losing yourself in the process. I mean, what fun could that be? Ain’t that the reason why they were drawn to you anyway?! So why are they trying to change you?? It makes no sense at all. At one point, I felt like I was living in someone else’s shadow because I don’t want to upset the person I was with and mainly out of respect. But, what is the point if you’re not getting respected back! You see, changing few things here and there is ok, but changing who you truly are to accommodate others is a no go for me.

I say, don’t be with someone who you’re trying to change/fix. Don’t fall for their potential self and the person they could be one day if they change for you. Be with them because you like them just the way they are. Be with the finished product- ready made!J

 

3: Set your boundaries

 

Once the line you’ve drawn is crossed, you know it’s over. But to set boundaries you need to know who you truly are and what your values are. If the person steps on those boundaries, then it is time to have a chat.

Create boundaries. Honor your limits. Say no. Take a break. Let go. Stay grounded. Nurture your body. And if all else fails, breathe deeply. Don’t underestimate breathing, I tell you breathing deeply is one of things that really really helped me release the tension and stress. #WhenInDoubtBreathe

Also remember to nurture your body and respect your body. Go to a Spa if you have to, eat well and feed your mind. Don’t forget yourself just because your boundaries have been crossed and you don’t know how to deal with it. Staying healthy and having a clear mind is important. It helps you focus on what you need to do next. Through it all you have to understand you need you more than anything.

 

4: Open up and speak your truth- be fearless

 

Address your issues and talk about them openly like adults. If they can handle your truth then game on! But if you can’t be transparent and are hiding things, you won’t go anywhere. You’ll always be stuck and going back to the same issue over and over again.

If things are not making sense to you and making you uncomfortable then say so. Don’t just bottle it up. So many times I’ve ignored things because I thought they were petty and didn’t deserve attention. But it’s the little things that turn into something big. This is something I really need to work on but I’ve decided to live my life fearlessly a while ago so I’m heading the right way!! #Winning

I made a mistake cos’ I didn’t speak out loud my truth because I was always being considerate and didn’t want to pick the wrong moment to talk about serious things.

And as the lovely Oprah said; “Speaking our truth is the most powerful tool we all have”. #UseIT #SaveYourSelf

 

5: Open your eyes, stay focused and observe carefully

You can never know people enough and not everyone is loving and caring like you are, so keep your eyes open.  People only see you through their own eyes and they can only understand you from their level of perception.  You see, you can only trust people as much as you trust yourself.

If you’re sneaky, you’ll think they are too. If you cheat, you’ll watch their every move trying to catch them in the act. So an innocent text from or to a friend will look bad in their eyes. But if you trust yourself 100%, then you’ll see others through your trusting heart. If a person says they don’t trust you, it means they don’t trust themselves. They’re sending a big message here, so pay attention.

“He who does not trust enough, will not be trusted”- Lao Tzu

Don’t waste your breath trying to make them believe they should trust you. If the trust is not there and most importantly if they don’t trust themselves- game over! #RunTheHellOut

 

Always with Love- Bee 🙂

Freedom!

Freedom has a high price they say

As high as that of slavery

But then, do we ask what is freedom really?

Free from our commitments or responsibilities?

Free from  the burdens or just having endless choices?

Free from the laws of nature or the tradition that existed for centuries?

Free to make our own rules, without boundaries?

Free from feeling guilty of our blessings?

Free to live our lives without judgments?

Free to love life and live it fully?

Free to follow our hearts and live life shamelessly?

what does it mean to you?

i know Free is what we are, naturally!

That Bohemian look!

Hey folks, here is another favourite image of mine! apologies for the delay, but better late than never. I wouldn’t mind dressing like this everyday. I feel comfortable and I certainly feel myself. We should not and I repeat SHOULD NOT feel like we have to do what others are doing and feel how others are feeling. We have the right to feel the way we want to feel and dress the way we want to dress. Express yourself! be yourself! and if you’re scared of others’ negative comments- learn to ignore the message; be the master of it.  As usual, stay tuned for more!

In this picture I’m not wearing any foundation at all. The only thing I’m wearing is Mascara, eye liner and a bit of lipgloss. It’s all natural and it shows what I’ve been doing right. wink wink!

bohemian look

All we want is….

All we want is to feel safe and be loved
To open our hearts and let people see
To fall asleep deeply without a single worry
All we want is to be heard and be seen
To be understood even when it’s hard to explain
To be hugged and feel the connection
To let go and never fight on every occasion

To be free and have a sense of belonging
To feel and touch what we’ve been longing….

-Bersi TK

For more poems visit- bersiiblog.wordpress.com