3 things I’ve learned anyone should do before getting involved in a relationship!

3 things I’ve learned anyone should do before getting involved in a relationship!


So it took a lot of pausing and reflecting to learn what I’m about to tell you, but it was something I already knew that I needed a reminder of. You see, we think we’ll be happy or complete once we find “Mr right” or “Mrs right” or when we get married, when we get that dream job or we’ll be complete once we have children…etc. The list is endless.

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But the truth is before we get into a relationship, we need to know that…..

1: We are whole and complete on our own first – We need to learn the craft of being whole on our own. Believe me, it is indeed a skill we need to learn and master, because not many are comfortable being on their own and most, don’t believe they are whole and complete on their own. And some jump from one failed relationship to the other to feel validated or to escape loneliness.

For me, being on my own is a piece of cake, because that is what I prefer and that is how I recharge. That is also how I reflect, gather my thoughts and stay connected. But, I still thought I needed a man to complete me. Boy! was I wrong.

However, it’s not our fault to think that we need someone to be and feel complete. We’ve been conditioned to think that way by society since Genesis; the kind of mentality which is no longer valid for me. #SocietyFailures

My whole life I’ve seen people considering themselves as a half and refer to their partners as “my other half” which implies that they’re not complete on their own. This is the reason why many people don’t even mind being in a toxic relationship, in order to be and feel complete. #Wrong #ThinkAgain

My dears, if you don’t feel complete on your own, you won’t be in the after- life”either (I call being in a relationship the “after life”, cos’ I literally had none once I was in one) LOL *sigh

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2: We need to be happy on your own first

Now that we mastered the skill of being whole on our own, we also need to learn being happy on our own.

We are not a half, waiting for our other half to appear. We are already whole. A wo/man cannot make us happy. S/He can only add more to our happiness. Because my dear, that is an inside job and it is our responsibility to make ourselves happy. #TakeResponsibility

Some of us know that most relationships fail because they expect the other person to make them happy. They expect them to be their world! How dare they put that much pressure on their loved ones #DontBeOneOfThem

Ladies, stop expecting your man to be the whole damn cake when truly, he should only be the cherry on top. This also applies to men as well, so don’t think you’ve escaped it.

The bottom line is we need to learn to be able to say I first, before we can say I love you and realise that happiness does not reside in someone else’s pocket.

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But you might ask, how does one feel complete and happy on their own?

3: Work on the whole damn cake first- i.e. You

The whole cake is YOU! We all know it takes time and effort to make a cake. Imagine! You have to get the ingredients, bring them home, measure it all up, mix it up, bake it and decorate it. It is a long process. It requires patience, attention and practice to achieve a tasty cake and it will take just as much work for you to feel complete. If you miss an ingredient or your measurements were incorrect, the outcome won’t be as you wished. So be attentive, live in the moment and be grateful for what is already yours.

Nobody buys an unfinished cake!

If you’re asking someone to be your cake when they’re meant to be only the cherry on top, you are asking too much. This is what happens in most relationships and often a reason for breaking up. This is also what happened to me- too much pressure to the point I could not breathe anymore because he wanted me to be the whole cake and I killed my cherry duty in an attempt of being a cake. #SadTimes

So get your ingredients right. Date yourself because you need to get to know you first. You need to know what you like and what you don’t. Spend quality time to learn your values. Because you see, you’re stuck with you for life, so you better love yourself for better or worse. To make it all exciting,  do anything that lights up your soul. Do for yourself what you wanted your wo/man do for you.

For me travelling, reading, being creative, watching moves, eating well, listening to music and dancing renew my soul and they truly make me happy.

Love yourself the way you want someone else to love you. Put yourself first and don’t feel guilty for doing so. Be the person you want to meet. But most of all, whatever you decide to do or wherever you decide to go, go with all of your heart and have fun. And when they see the light they’d want to be part of it too. They’d want to come shine with you. #ComeShineWithMe– (my new hashtag. Isn’t it great?!) 🙂


You get to bake your cake and be it too- and wait for the cherry to drop when it’s time.  No pressure lovelies!

Always With love- Bee


Safe journey!

Oh darling, you must not know me

If you leave, it’s not because of me

If you stay, it’s not because of me

But because of your poor soul, who was unable to see the light in me


I will keep shining even when you don’t see me

I will never stop growing even when you’re not near me

This time I’m stronger and a lot wiser

So nothing can get to the self which is higher than ever


You see, I choose to see the best in people’s souls

Even yours, which needed saving and was crying for happiness

Darling that wasn’t up to me but to thy self

You were looking in the wrong places

I tried to make you see it but I couldn’t get past your stubbornness


The time we had was beautiful and cherished every minute of it

You were free from the very start

Supported you 100% on your new path

But all I can say for now is….

No tears

No regrets

Only the beautiful memories will last

I wish you endless happiness and love

I wish, you truly find yourself and all the love that you have

I wish you only the very best and nothing less in life!

Always with love- Bee 😘😘

Women of our generation!

The world we live in today is funny, emotional, corrupt, heartless, demanding, damaging, bloodsucking…etc The list is endless; and we have to fight for what we believe in otherwise we’ll get killed. We have to really stand up and protect ourselves and fight for dear life. Especially if you’re not an ass kisser like me. It doesn’t get easier. Today, we have two worlds and two generations fighting for what they believe in and never agreeing on one thing and we’re stuck in the middle. Because though we are one, we come from different times and generations. And one thinks their way is better than the other.

Today we have a lot of people leaving their families behind and starting their journey on their own to see where life might take them, but this comes with a big sacrifice. There’s a lot of people like me who left their families back home and moved to a different continent with a different culture and tradition trying to follow their bliss and have a better life. My journey has been nothing but challenging and I’m grateful for the hardships I went through cos’ it really made me appreciate how far I’ve come, how I see life  and where I’m headed. All the people I met and the troubles I’ve overcome made me wiser, kinder, better and stronger. Amen to that!

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When people move in groups, I stayed in my lane,  I didn’t mind being a loner because I knew where I was headed. It never did bother me. I did my own shit, dressed like I wanted, never really followed a crowd. I was always in a different space and place. I stayed true to myself, been hurt too many times and vowed to never hurt anyone I encounter on my journey. I moved on purpose. Everything I did, I made sure I did out of love and care.. Of course, I made mistakes but they only made me sharper and focused. I always found ways to feed my soul, did what I had to do to survive, I was there for the people who needed me, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. Just for love. Nothing else. But in the process of it all I lost myself. I was a servant and I still am. Because I believe that’s why I’m here. To serve humanity. But I completely lost myself because I thought I didn’t matter and since I was always the strong one, I ignored myself, because I thought I could do it all. Which is absolutely a massive mistake. But on the good side, I thought myself to be humble, kept my feet on the ground and stayed grounded. So many times I fell and got back up again. As the new generation and time got me thinking; I always tell myself, I got to do better, I have to be better than I was yesterday, I need to grow and move elegantly through life.



my grandmother and my mother’s generation is different to mine. They lived in a time where arranged marriage is acceptable and the highest achievement in life is to get married and have kids.  And all they could think of is for me get married and have kids. It feels like all my achievements in life, my ambitions and dreams, the way I am, how far I’ve come, my struggles and all that I am is never enough and is so not appreciated. I find myself growing apart from my family because I know I’m a disappointment to them. Regardless of how hard I tried to make them see my point of view, I will never succeed and they will never understand. And I will never understand their way of life either. Two generations who come from one land fighting for what they believe in but no one is winning.

We live in different times and ages. If a woman refuses to live the life that’s planned for her, she gets disowned by her parents because she said no to live the life they want for her. Their best line is” we know what’s best for you and we want you to be happy”. Wait, hold up! Did I say I’m sad? And you may have known me when I was little but 15 years later, I’m a different person. They need to understand their version of what’s best for us in their eyes might not actually be the best thing for us. They need to allow people to move on at their own pace, let them live life the way they want to and just let them be. And if we don’t obey we get disowned? What ignorance. It really breaks my heart to see that women of our time and age are not appreciated for who they are without a husband and kids. Life is more than that. Open your eyes.


Maybe this should sum up what women of our age are like:

we are the women of our time. We struggle, we fight, we overcome. We might need to work twice as hard to get where we want to get to, but even then we still never give up. We shouldn’t! We simply can’t! We’re stronger that we’ll ever be. We are the women of our time and generation! And we’ll always rise!