Failure! what failure?!

Failure! a topic that is too sensitive, perhaps underrated and less talked about. In a society full of flashy objects and picture perfect life, we don’t dare to talk about our failures. Jeeze! how could we? we’re too busy editing pictures and pretending to be too perfect. No body broadcasts their failures and brag about them.  If we pay attention, everything we see around us is a result of accumulated failures. We only see the finished product and not how it got here.

It’s ok to lose and fail sometimes you know. We shouldn’t be scared to fail. In fact, the more we fail  the closer we get to making it. Failure is part of the game. It is part of life.  I think failure is not the opposite of success. Fear is the opposite of success. Failure is just part of the journey and success.

I think the issue is not failing but perhaps not getting up and fighting back again. Because it’s easier to give up. The more you fail, the more you know how to deal with it and position yourself better for the next time you mess up. 🙂

 

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We get headaches when we overthink things and when we worry too much about failing. Some people don’t like to fail at all and so they don’t try. I’d say not trying is a massive failure and a risky business.

If you think about it, we have a 50/50 chance. Why focus our beautiful mind on failing. What if we don’t. This is precisely the reason why I’m not scared to play with fire. Because I know it is part of success. I do it knowing it could burn me but I don’t want to miss out on the lessons and the growth I could get from it. It helps me recognise the areas where I need to work on and it definitely helps me get closer to where want to get.

 

failure quote.

Thomas Edison made 1000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When he got asked, how did it feel to fail 1000 times? he replied, “I did’t fail 1000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1000 steps.“. What a Gangster response!!! my kind of man.

Fear is just an illusion. We feed it sooo much energy that we begin to believe it is real.

Let’s begin our journey planning to win but if we don’t, at least we’ll get some valuable experience out of it. In the end, we’re not really failing are we? Well, it depends which angle we’re looking at it from.

failure quote 2.

Remember we always have a choice. we get to choose which attitude we’re gonna wear. What does your outfit look like today?

Always with Love- Bersi x0x0

 

Scared to follow your dreams?

Scared to follow your dreams?

Well, internet friends, I’m not going to sugar- coat it and pretend that I am a big actionista gal. ( someone who takes action lol).

The reason I didn’t pursue my dreams and didn’t follow through with an action to a scale that I wish I had done was because, my dream kept me going. It kept me alive. I had something to hold on to. It gave me hope and it had me saying, “one day” and I figured if I act on it and it fails, I won’t have anything to hold on to and won’t be able to say “one day” anymore.

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I won’t have that smear of hope that was barely holding me together.

And then, I saw this quote from Ghandi which resignated with me. “To believe in something and not to live it, is dishonest”. This really hit home cos’ I know what I believe in and trust me I’m trying to live it and be it. Everyday!  The quote gave me more courage to keep on keeping on and keep my eyes on the goal.

Little did I know though, we can have as many dreams and ideas as we want- not just one.  We don’t have a limited allowance you know. This is not a vodafone data allowance.  So I decided to act on it and was prepared to fail on my face. I really do not want to be on my death bed and regret the choices I made in life or the ones I didn’t. I did not want to play it safe anymore.

And I undesrtood that if it fails, I should focus on altering the steps, the approach and perhaps update my skills to get there but never change the dream. We miss this point. It’s not the dream that fails, it’s the way we go about it.

I just don’t want to carry an empty hole in my heart and walk around pretending to have a fulfilled life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sad because I made a choice to be happy.

But I wanted to be fulfilled and be more lightened. Which is why I call my blog, come shine with me, cos I try to keep my corner lit and keep shining and bring my sunshine with me.

I don’t want to sacrifice my life for doing what I don’t love doing. Standing in my own truth is what I stand for.

Because I know there’s so much freedom to be had when we stand on our own truth. When people are busy chasing happiness, I’m chasing freedom, cos’ happiness is just a state and we can choose to be happy without any conditions and you can train yourself to be in that state and own that shit. #wisemove

But being free, we gotta work harder and harder everyday baby!!! It ain’t cheap and it defo ain’t easy.

I’d say, If u want to live an honest life son, go get something to believe in and live by it. #simples

Always with love- Bersi

I’m everything and nothing at all!

I am everything and nothing at all

Sometimes I want to be quiet and sometimes celebrate
I love those who have energy and jump around and I am that,
But at times I just want to meditate and leave it at that.
Sometimes I want to hold hands and take it slow,
But other times I want to jump in the ocean and play with the storm
You know playing with words is what I adore, but then I also like a movie & a popcorn

Sometimes I hold on tight to what I have, but other times I don’t care if all is lost
I love it when you tell me you love me, but other times it’s enough when you hold me
And we all love it when people sympathise with us but tough love we also appreciate.
Sometimes we want to be healthy but then we also celebrate being lazy
And don’t we all love honesty but the kind less brutal & easy

we love to share but we don’t like it when they’re too nosy

I admire flexibility, and I don’t mind changing but without losing my identity

you see- It’s not because I have endless personalities
But because, darling!  I am everything
And without it, I’m also nothing!!!

look around, pay attention and see if you’re experiencing something ….anything?

Love always, yours Bee x0x0

Safe journey!

Oh darling, you must not know me

If you leave, it’s not because of me

If you stay, it’s not because of me

But because of your poor soul, who was unable to see the light in me

 

I will keep shining even when you don’t see me

I will never stop growing even when you’re not near me

This time I’m stronger and a lot wiser

So nothing can get to the self which is higher than ever

 

You see, I choose to see the best in people’s souls

Even yours, which needed saving and was crying for happiness

Darling that wasn’t up to me but to thy self

You were looking in the wrong places

I tried to make you see it but I couldn’t get past your stubbornness

 

The time we had was beautiful and cherished every minute of it

You were free from the very start

Supported you 100% on your new path

But all I can say for now is….

No tears

No regrets

Only the beautiful memories will last

I wish you endless happiness and love

I wish, you truly find yourself and all the love that you have

I wish you only the very best and nothing less in life!

Always with love- Bee 😘😘

Women of our generation!

The world we live in today is funny, emotional, corrupt, heartless, demanding, damaging, bloodsucking…etc The list is endless; and we have to fight for what we believe in otherwise we’ll get killed. We have to really stand up and protect ourselves and fight for dear life. Especially if you’re not an ass kisser like me. It doesn’t get easier. Today, we have two worlds and two generations fighting for what they believe in and never agreeing on one thing and we’re stuck in the middle. Because though we are one, we come from different times and generations. And one thinks their way is better than the other.

Today we have a lot of people leaving their families behind and starting their journey on their own to see where life might take them, but this comes with a big sacrifice. There’s a lot of people like me who left their families back home and moved to a different continent with a different culture and tradition trying to follow their bliss and have a better life. My journey has been nothing but challenging and I’m grateful for the hardships I went through cos’ it really made me appreciate how far I’ve come, how I see life  and where I’m headed. All the people I met and the troubles I’ve overcome made me wiser, kinder, better and stronger. Amen to that!

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When people move in groups, I stayed in my lane,  I didn’t mind being a loner because I knew where I was headed. It never did bother me. I did my own shit, dressed like I wanted, never really followed a crowd. I was always in a different space and place. I stayed true to myself, been hurt too many times and vowed to never hurt anyone I encounter on my journey. I moved on purpose. Everything I did, I made sure I did out of love and care.. Of course, I made mistakes but they only made me sharper and focused. I always found ways to feed my soul, did what I had to do to survive, I was there for the people who needed me, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. Just for love. Nothing else. But in the process of it all I lost myself. I was a servant and I still am. Because I believe that’s why I’m here. To serve humanity. But I completely lost myself because I thought I didn’t matter and since I was always the strong one, I ignored myself, because I thought I could do it all. Which is absolutely a massive mistake. But on the good side, I thought myself to be humble, kept my feet on the ground and stayed grounded. So many times I fell and got back up again. As the new generation and time got me thinking; I always tell myself, I got to do better, I have to be better than I was yesterday, I need to grow and move elegantly through life.

 

Meanwhile;

my grandmother and my mother’s generation is different to mine. They lived in a time where arranged marriage is acceptable and the highest achievement in life is to get married and have kids.  And all they could think of is for me get married and have kids. It feels like all my achievements in life, my ambitions and dreams, the way I am, how far I’ve come, my struggles and all that I am is never enough and is so not appreciated. I find myself growing apart from my family because I know I’m a disappointment to them.  however, my sister thinks otherwise and tells me that they’re proud of me no matter what. But I feel regardless of how hard I try to make them see my point of view, I will never succeed and they will never understand. And I will never understand their way of life either. Two generations who come from one land fighting for what they believe in but no one is winning.

We live in different times and ages. If a woman refuses to live the life that’s planned for her, she gets disowned by her parents because she said no to live the life they want for her. Their best line is” we know what’s best for you and we want you to be happy”. Wait, hold up! Did I say I’m sad? And you may have known me when I was little but 15 years later, I’m a different person. They need to understand their version of what’s best for us in their eyes might not actually be the best thing for us. They need to allow people to move on at their own pace, let them live life the way they want to and just let them be. And if we don’t obey we get disowned? What ignorance. It really breaks my heart to see that women of our time and age are not appreciated for who they are without a husband and kids. Life is more than that. Open your eyes!!! Having said that though, I’m not dismissing the idea of having a partner and kids some day. I’ll happen all in good time. No pressure. 🙂

 

Maybe this should sum up what women of our age are like:

we are the women of our time. We struggle, we fight, we overcome. We might need to work twice as hard to get where we want to get to, but even then we still never give up. We shouldn’t! We simply can’t! We’re stronger that we’ll ever be. We are the women of our time and generation! And we’ll always rise!

DEAL WITH IT!